The Types of Intimacy Every Healthy Relationship Needs
Usually when we think of the word intimacy, the first image that comes to mind is physical touch. The word Intimacy is defined as, “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group”. This means, there are far more ways than just kissing, cuddling or bedroom action to share intimate moments with your partner. Here are the 10 main types of intimacy that you can develop in your relationship:
1. Emotional Intimacy
This involves building a strong emotional connection with your partner by openly sharing your experiences, thoughts, and feelings with one another. Emotional vulnerability within your relationship helps to create a stronger sense of security, knowing that there is a safe space to honestly express yourself.
2. Physical Intimacy
The average persons skin has around 4 million touch receptors throughout the body. These receptors come alive when they are stimulated by touch, temperature, stretching, pain, movement, vibration, and pressure. When you are touched in a pleasurable way by your partner, like when you’re cuddling or receiving a tantric massage, these receptors send a signal to the brain, releasing the hormone oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”. Oxytocin gives you a feeling of safety and well-being, which can have a major impact on the overall health of your relationship.
3. Intellectual Intimacy
This type of intimacy gives you a sense of connection with your partner through moments of verbal interaction. A few examples of intellectual intimacy is through the sharing of opinions and ideas, discussing future plans that you’ll share together, or having deep conversations about philosophies. Think of the time you stayed up on the phone with your partner until 3am because you both were too invested in the conversation to end it. As sleepy as you may have been at work a few hours later, you more than likely had a sense of fulfillment and gratitude to have shared that moment with them. And if you consider yourself to be a sapiosexual, this may just be your favorite type of intimacy.
4. Experiential Intimacy
This type of intimacy is built through shared experiences and activities. Whether it be a “bae-cation”, watching the sun set on the highest mountain in the city, or even getting into a car accident together, experiential intimacy can have a powerful effect on the level of love and appreciation you have for your partner. This is the reason we humans plan parties, vacations and other festivities. The feeling of sharing beautiful experiences with the ones you love is part of what makes life in itself worth living.
5. Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual intimacy involves sharing beliefs, values, and a sense of purpose. Sharing the same spiritual beliefs allows you and your partner to participate in spiritual practices together and have in-depth discussions about your life’s purpose. This gives you the opportunity to bond on an energetic level, knowing that you have a similar purpose in life.
6. Social Intimacy
This type of intimacy involves feeling a sense of closeness in social settings. It is that feeling that you and your partner are a team when in the presence of friends and family.
7. Creative Intimacy
Creative intimacy is the bond formed when you and your partner engage in creative activities together, like art, music, writing, or even problem-solving. It’s about collaborating and expressing yourselves in unique ways. Using your imagination to create something beautiful with your partner can be a wonderful way to make memories and feel a deeper sense of closeness to them.
8. Sexual Intimacy
This deeper form of physical intimacy allows you and your partner to express and explore desires and fantasies while feeling comfortable doing so. Sex can have a magical effect not only on your relationship, but also your own individual physical, mental, and even financial health as well. There is an energetic shift that occurs when two people intentionally and mindfully engage in sexual acts together. This type of intimacy gives you the opportunity to manifest the things you desire in life. In my course Sacred Zensations: Tantric Massage for Couples, I will be guiding couples on how they can give their partner a whole-body orgasm, without having sex. Talk about oxytocin overload!
9. Communication Intimacy
This type of intimacy is developed through open, honest, and transparent communication with your partner. One thing that holds people back from truly expressing themselves in a relationship is the fear of judgement or not being understood. Taking the time to develop healthy communication skills goes a long way in understanding your partners desires and vice versa.
10. Conflict Intimacy
Maintaining conflict intimacy is imperative in any relationship, especially an intimate one. Conflict intimacy is built when partners can navigate disagreements or conflicts in a constructive way. Having differing opinions from your partner should never be grounds for arguments or verbal disrespect. Both you and your partner should feel safe enough with one another to express your opinions without fear of an aggressive response. Afterall, you’re a team, working together toward harmony.
Understanding and nurturing these different types of intimacy can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship. Share below what types of intimacy you and your partner are strong in, and what areas could use improvement.
