3 Powerful Ways to Deepen Intimacy in your Relationship

One of the top causes for divorce and breakups is lack of intimacy. There are many reasons why a relationship or marriage may be deficient in this department, such as overworking, environmental stressors, responsibilities at home, and even mental health imbalances. We can become so overwhelmed with life that we become numb to the desire we once had to connect with and indulge in the person we love. Many of us have forgotten how important it is to slow down and be present. It's time that we get back to intimacy.

As an intimacy coach and massage therapist of 14 years, I have discovered that with intention and consistency, these 3 ways to deepen intimacy in your relationship will supersede your expectations in building a closer bond to your partner!

1. “21 Questions”

There is no such thing as a healthy relationship with poor communication, so it is wise to be intentional with expressing yourselves to one another. This exercise should ideally be done in one sitting, but can also be done over the course of several days if time is limited. Schedule a day and time when you both can sit with one another, privately, with no distractions. You both will, in advance, come up with 21 questions each (or as close to 21 questions that you can think of) that are geared toward finding out the needs and desires each of you have in your relationship. These questions should be specific, not vague.

The goal is to strengthen healthy and honest communication with one another, while creating a safe space to express yourselves. This will allow you and your partner the opportunity to self-evaluate for the health of your relationship and guide you in the direction of showing up as a better version of yourself for your relationship. Take your time discussing each answer so that you are both on the same page by the end of the conversation.

Some topics will likely be more vulnerable and sensitive than others, so it is important that you listen to understand your partner, not judge them. Often times, at the conclusion of this exercise, couples come to realize more about their partners needs that may not have been a thought beforehand. If either of you feel there are topics that come up that are more difficult to discuss, I would suggest that you seek out the assistance of a professional therapist who can give you more insight on deeper issues.

2. Connection Meditation

Meditation has a number of benefits, including:

• reduces stress and promotes relaxation- this can reduce tension in your relationship and assist with responding to conflict from a place of compassion and productivity, instead of from a place of anger and frustration.

• improves focus and concentration- this can make room for healthy communication. A distracted mind can steer you away from hearing what your partner is expressing to you.

• increases self-awareness and mindfulness- the more you become aware of yourself, the better judgement you will have when it’s time to correct yourself. Sometimes, it is us who needs to make the improvement in how we’re showing up in our relationship.

Here is a simple, yet powerful meditation you can do with your partner in just 5 minutes:

Sit with your partner, facing one another. This can be done sitting on the floor, on the bed or in a chair. Place your right hand over each others heart, and place your left hand over their right hand. With eyes closed, take a slow deep breath in for 5 seconds. Exhale for a count of 3 seconds. Do this several times, focusing on the synchronized breathing. As you’re inhaling, receive the energy from your partner. As you exhale, send that energy back to your partner. Feel the stress in your body releasing more and more with each breath. In your mind, give gratitude to your partner for being here and sharing this moment with you. After a few minutes, open your eyes and gaze into your partners eyes for a few more breaths. To conclude this meditation, thank your partner with a hug or kiss.

If you are not experienced in meditating or doing so with a partner, I would suggest setting a timer so that you both know when to conclude the session. These few minutes of peace with one another has the power to shift stress and tension that may have been felt beforehand.

3. Couples Tantric Massage

Giving and receiving a tantric massage from your partner offers a profound and transformative experience that extends far beyond physical pleasure. This ancient practice promotes a deep sense of connection and intimacy, as you and your partner learn to communicate through touch and energetic exchange. By focusing on mindful breathing, eye contact, and intentional movements, you can enhance your emotional and spiritual bond with your partner, leading to greater trust and openness.

Tantric massage also promotes relaxation and stress relief, which creates an atmosphere where you can explore each other's desires and boundaries in a safe, loving environment. As you and your partner attune to one another’s needs and sensations, you will find that your overall relationship becomes more vibrant and fulfilling, with increased levels of passion and understanding.

As powerful and sensational as tantric massage is, there isn’t much information on the web on how you can have this experience in your relationship. This is why I am creating an online course called Sacred Zensations: Tantric Massage for Couples that you and your partner can follow along to, at your own pace and from the comfort of your home.

Intimacy is a gift we should never forget to appreciate and cherish with the one(s) we love. It is my hope that you try at least one of these practices and be reminded of how much more beautiful your relationship can be.